Friday, September 11, 2009

I Remember

On this day, 8 years ago, so many people remember exactly where they were and what they were doing. It is a day many of us will never forget, 9/11/01. I remember it almost like it was yesterday. Jeff and I were living at my parents house with our only child at the time, Tanner. We were living their while our new house was being finished, and things were a little cramped! I woke up and got ready for work and I got Tanner ready to go to daycare. I was in the habit of never turning on a T.V. or a radio while getting ready, but as soon as I put Tanner in the car I turned on the radio. I had no idea what they were talking about, but it didn't sound good. After listening for a couple of minutes I began to realize what was going on. Planes had ran into the World Trade Center, The Pentagon, and one had crashed in a field in Pennsylvania. The scenes were described in such horror. Every detail I heard mad me shiver with fear. As I walked into the babysitters house, I saw the images on the T.V. as she was watching with tears in her eyes. I began to cry as I realized how many people were scared, hurt, and dead. So many people suffering in the world all at the same time. After feeling so reluctant to leave my baby at the sitters while the world was crumbling, or at least that's what it felt like to me, I left and headed to work. I worked at the customer service center for DHL (the shipping company).It was very close to the airport and it made me feel so eerie not hearing or seeing any airplanes in the sky. I remember how quiet it was as I walked into the building. For a call center that is extremely odd. At that time of day many of my fellow employees would have been on the phone with people from the east coast. I realized the world was in shock and every normal daily activity was just simply put on hold. As I walked to the circle of people huddled around the break room T.V., I saw so many expresions of sadness and fear. I began talking to many of my coworkers, and all of a sudden I started sobbing. I felt this deep feeling of being so out of control. Having an infant, and knowing it was my one purpose in the world to keep him safe and happy. How was I supposed to accomplish that when the world just proved to me how anything horrible could happen at any moment! I pulled myself together and got through the rest of the day. When I picked Tanner up from daycare I hugged him a little tighter, and a lot longer. That evening Jeff and I had a long talk about how the world can change at any moment. We came to the conclusion that one way we could help the world was by being understanding, loving parents. We decided to not let that days events scare us into not wanting to bring sweet, innocent children into this world! After coming to that understanding we agreed that it was time to add to our family, and so the first idea of our second child came to be. And so you see Rylin, 9/11/01 was a day I will remember forever because that was the day I realized the world was a crazy place, but I wanted your sweet spirit to join us. The pregnancy that became you started shortly after that one very scary day that so many people will remember forever, especially me.

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